K.C. Clifford » Nurture

Nurture

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How do you seek nurture in healthy ways?

I am actually interested in feedback here. Healthy nurture is hard for me. I am good at offering it to others, but come up short when it comes to finding the grace to give it to myself. This is not a new blog topic for me, by any means. But this time I am truly wanting to hear from you.

How do you fit caring for yourself into your time-starved life?

My whole life changed when we went out on the road full-time. In most ways, touring was a dream come true. The exception for me, the point at which touring is not a dream, is in the struggle to take care of myself while on the road. I have been using touring as an excuse for putting myself really far down on the list for almost two years now. And the truth is, touring is my new normal, and I desperately want to learn how to be kind to myself in the confines of this new lifestyle.

So, I am using a lifeline, polling the audience- you- for answers. I don’t have everything figured out, not even close actually. I am willing to admit that the struggle to choose healthy nurture over false nurture currently feels insurmountable. But I know it’s possible. It has to be.

What nurtures you? It could be a walk, a nap, a journal, a cup of tea, a prayer. I really am inviting your comments. When you have to make a choice in the midst of the craziness of your circumstances, how do you choose what’s good for you in the long-term vs. what’s feels, tastes, & looks like comfort in the now? I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Thanks friends.

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Comments (8) |

8 Comments »

Comment by Emily Cook Skimmeland

March 17, 2010 3:05 pm

I found that I started neglecting my nurture needs as I tried to fit in time for work, family, and studies. I love to go on hikes, but with a four year old and a husband often away with his coaching job that seems to be a rare treat. I fell in love with yoga because you simply need a mat and an open mind. Of course getting to a yoga class here on the tiny island I live on here on the west coast of Norway is utterly impossible so I’ve learned routines from Yoga Journal and then there is a fantastic internet site Yoga Today http://yogatoday.com/videos/lineup.
Yoga really helps relax and rejuvenate.

Other pampering things I do are giving myself a little headmassages, or a foot massage. Soak in a hot bath.

I have taught my husband and many other couples how to give a therapeutic massage to their partners. This could be a fun thing for you and David. This way you could take turns in give and receiving the pampering.

Hope you find ways to nurture youself. I always tell my clients “If you don’t take care of yourself, then you won’t be able to take care of others”

Comment by nick

March 17, 2010 3:08 pm

i’ve already given you my secret i think….
drink loads, smoke loads, never eat, unless it’s at 3 am or 3pm…. and try to sleep maximum 4 hours/night.

(i’m starting a new secret this week, that i hope will work better. i can’t wait to share it with you, cos i’m dead excited about it. especially cos it’s a rather different one than the above. but i have to get it figured out before i can tell you what it is…)

Comment by Stacy Jagger

March 17, 2010 9:09 pm

I tell ya. This has been a rough one for me too. This is what helps me— I reach out to a friend who tells me I am worth being taken care of, in spite of what my brain can tell me some days. I may not have recieved the nurture I really needed as a child, but I can, with God’s help, give it to myself now. And it isn’t selfish to take care of me– I am learning to put the oxygen mask on myself first..then I can help someone else. I made a 40 minute exercise video- 10 min. yoga, 20 min cardio, 10 min pilates (my husband is a techie) and then I go outside and walk quietly and listen to nature around me. I have also learned to not just BUY vitamins, but to actually SWALLOW the darn things. It’s baby steps for me, but I have learned to give myself a break knowing that I don’t have to be my own worst critic, I can be my own best friend.
Love you KC!

Comment by Pam Kalinec

March 17, 2010 9:37 pm

Right before I go to sleep every night, I thank God for the things I’m grateful for happening that day. Sometimes I really have to search my brain, but there are always a few things. I find it very nurturing that my last thoughts each day are of the good stuff.

Comment by Paula

March 17, 2010 9:39 pm

Hey KC when you figure it out let me know. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time and still haven’t figured it out. I know what I think would be good for me but haven’t figured out how to carve out the time for it. Do I give up sleep, family time, quit my job? None of those are good options so what goes is time for me. I do allow myself an indulgence of a massage every few weeks, and while this is a good indulgence, it is also a definite physical gain for me as I am in less constant pain now than I was when I started going. I would love to make the time for more exercise, evening walks, yoga and reading and know I would be healthier for it, but just haven’t forced myself to make the time yet.

For you – can you find a spot to stop as you go from one place to another and go for a walk, either on a nature trail or in a small town – just something to take a break from the drive and the routine?

Diana Ross on Inside the Actors Studio (and probably other places) talked about how she realized at some point that to take care of others well she first had to take care of herself. I think that is a very hard lesson for many of us to learn. It makes sense to me, but I am still trying to make it my reality. I hope you have better luck than I do in finding it.

Comment by Brenda

March 17, 2010 10:54 pm

The things that nurture me are playing my guitar, going to the gym with my daughters, listening to live music (or even recorded music, if necessary), hanging out with my friends and going to church on Sunday. I also love a great cup of coffee!

Comment by Ali

March 18, 2010 10:58 am

i like yoga.

i love a cup of tea. i love to sit down at the day’s end and watch tv and do absolutely. nothing. even if there is stuff that needs to be done – i just make myself let it go.

i would like to go for a walk in the fresh air, but i usually have nappers in the house when i could walk (and i hear that you’re not allowed to leave them alone at home, even if they’re sleeping! , so i’ve found a cozy chair with dim lighting where i can read a book or play on my iphone. time for me in a cozy spot.