Redman at Boston House Concert

Monday, March 22, 2010

Nurture

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How do you seek nurture in healthy ways?

I am actually interested in feedback here. Healthy nurture is hard for me. I am good at offering it to others, but come up short when it comes to finding the grace to give it to myself. This is not a new blog topic for me, by any means. But this time I am truly wanting to hear from you.

How do you fit caring for yourself into your time-starved life?

My whole life changed when we went out on the road full-time. In most ways, touring was a dream come true. The exception for me, the point at which touring is not a dream, is in the struggle to take care of myself while on the road. I have been using touring as an excuse for putting myself really far down on the list for almost two years now. And the truth is, touring is my new normal, and I desperately want to learn how to be kind to myself in the confines of this new lifestyle.

So, I am using a  lifeline, polling the audience- you- for answers. I don’t have everything figured out, not even close actually. I am willing to admit that the struggle to choose healthy nurture over false nurture currently feels insurmountable. But I know it’s possible. It has to be.

What nurtures you? It could be a walk, a nap, a journal, a cup of tea, a prayer. I really am inviting your comments. When you have to make a choice in the midst of the craziness of your circumstances, how do you choose what’s good for you in the long-term vs. what’s feels, tastes, & looks like comfort in the now? I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Thanks friends.

The Changing Face of Friendship

Friday, March 12, 2010

I found my first true friend in 10th grade. Well, she kind of found me. Her name is Lauren, and we are in it for the long haul. We’ve seen each other through thick and thin, and there is an unspoken understanding between us that neither one of us is going anywhere. I could call her at 3 am in a crisis, and she could do the same. We don’t live in a world where either of us really needs to invoke the 3 am call, but there’s a knowledge that if the call needed to be made, a voice would be on the other line. A voice that loves and accepts.

Lauren is different than the typical girl I have historically sought out for friendship. We are polar opposites in some respects, and alike in others. She is even keel and doesn’t typically go into things based on strong emotion. She loves the comfort of home- and has known since we were young that she wanted to raise her family in Oklahoma. She is a germ-phobe and luckily can afford a housekeeper. She is a teeny-tiny, size 2 and was very well-liked in school. She has two beautiful children, and is a fantastic mom. She doesn’t favor drama and conflict. And so, our friendship is low-maintenance and virtually drama-free. It’s one of the most lovely relationships in my life.

I find that I have an increasingly deep appreciation for the ease of friendships like the one I have with Lauren. The older I get, the less B.S. I am inclined to put up with. Life is short, after all. I used to believe that all friendships lasted forever. I am a golden retriever type- loyal to the core. And yet I have often found myself bending over backwards in certain friendships where the efforts weren’t reciprocated. A good part of that stems from the fact friends did not come easily for me as a young girl. And as I have said here before, I longed to fit in. I was desperate for it. It surprises me when i recognize that desperation rearing it’s head. I am thankful for the awareness I have now which allows me to take a step back and examine what’s really at the root of my “need.” No, I am not perfect. I often find myself with hurt feelings before I am aware enough to step back. But the learning curve is getting shorter all the time. And I am grateful for progress, not perfection.

I used to feel as though accumulating friendships, lots of them, somehow increased my worth. But the truth is, with all the world hands us, if we can manage to love a few people well in this life, I think we are doing a great job. And true friends are rare. I hope this makes sense to someone out there.

Welcome to the World, Lovely Orchid

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I couldn’t sleep last night. I knew I would wake up and March 2nd would finally be here… and the anticipation was just a bit too much for me. Orchid is being released today- it’s her birthday. Yes, the album is a girl. If you’ve met her, you already know this as true. We don’t have any kids… yet. But we have music that we create and let out into the world. You can’t imagine the labor of love that is imagining, writing, recording, producing, packaging, and marketing a record. It’s a monumental task.  And now she’s here… Orchid. And I am a proud, proud mama.

I am AMAZED that less than a year ago we went into the studio with Will Hunt (who got props at http://www.rollingstone.com today by the way… Go Will!), that was such a dream for me. It seems like so much has happened in the past year and at the same time it seems like we were in the studio yesterday. Why is that exactly? I digress….

Side-note: Not only is Orchid releasing officially today, but we are also unveiling the new http://www.kcclifford.com website. Our friends Nathan & Brian (affectionately known in our closest circle as “The Fifth Beatle” and “Genius 1 & Genius 2″), made the hope of this incredible new site a real thing. And needless to say, they did NOT get paid what they are worth… because I couldn’t afford them. It has been such a fun little adventure imagining what I would want if I could have anything on the site, and then seeing them actualize that. Y’all think me getting up to sing my little folk songs is amazing… I think html code and design are extraordinarily amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you Nathan & Brian! We love you so and your friendship is a great treasure!

Orchid could not have happened without the extravagant generosity of my friends… The Generous Friends have banded together and rallied behind this album in the most humbling, beautiful way. And I had you generous souls in my heart’s eye every step of the way- hoping against hope that I would be a good steward of the resources with which you entrusted me, and that I would make you proud to be a part of it. I’ve never been so sure of what I was put on this earth for as I am when I think about the creative work Orchid embodies.

I hope you’ll raise a glass with me and toast as we celebrate Orchid, our new arrival. I have great anticipation of all she’s meant to do in the world. To Orchid. Ching, ching. And to you for making the dream of her a reality. Hear, hear, you dear generous friends. Hear, hear.

Welcome to the world, lovely Orchid.